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Dec 30, 2013

A Tale of Two Tablets: Double Review - Kindle Fire HDX and iPad Air

Another holiday season is rapidly coming to a close. That means a bunch of you probably opened nice shiny new electronics in the past week or so. Likewise, another group is most likely playing the waiting game - deciding what to spend all that Christmas money on.

Allow me to help - with my thoughts on two such items that you may have crossed paths with: The Kindle Fire HDX 7” and the iPad Air.

Now, most gadget reviews focus on specs which are, quite honestly, useless for most people.  For starters what does it matter how many gigahertz something runs at, if you have no freaking clue what a gigahertz is? Secondly, all of the spec-porn in the world is pretty meaningless as long as something works correctly and is priced fairly.  So my goal is to stick with that criteria and hopefully give you some useful advice you don’t need a Rosetta stone to understand.

So onward to the tablets...

Tablet-type devices typically come in 4 flavors: Phone-sized, phablet, small tablet, and full-sized.  We’ll skip those first two. A phone is more of a personal choice anyway I find.  As for phablets (phone/tablet), like the Samsung Galaxy Note, well fuck them - because I really can't stand the word phablet. Seriously, who comes up with this shit?

Small tablets are typically devices in the 7 - 8 inch screen size range. They’re not quite pocket-sized, but they do approximate paperback size. They fit quite nicely into a handbag or backpack and are often comfortable to hold for long periods of time with one hand.  The Kindle Fire HDX 7” not only falls into this category, but as far as I’m concerned it owns it.

I consider small tablets to be mostly consumption devices.  Their small screen size is ideal for reading books, surfing the web, social media, games, and even the occasional movie - in short, leisure activities.  Personally, I find them to be too small to do any real work on, though, outside of maybe email.  That’s okay because Amazon’s device fits that bill perfectly.   It’s the very definition of a consumption device and it’s tied to one of the biggest content repositories out there -Amazon.com (duh!).  With but a few taps of the screen you can access movies, games, and quite literally millions of books (hint hint).

That’s not all it is, though. All of the content in the world is going to suck if it’s on a device that sputters along at a maddeningly slow pace. Fortunately, Amazon really knocked it out of the park with this - their 3rd generation of Kindle Fire devices.  The HDX is a solid device with a ton of power and great battery life. You’ll be hard pressed to bring this tablet to its knees.  Best yet, it can all be had for an incredible price.  Seriously, nothing even comes close to touching this at $229 (and Amazon has been running several sales, so you might find it for even less).

It’s easy to use, but alas not quite as easy to use as an iPad.  Fortunately, though, Amazon has this potential weakness covered.  They included what’s known as the Mayday Button onto the HDX.  This is a virtual button that instantly connects you to Amazon’s customer service.  This is a move that’s nothing short of brilliant on their part.  I have dealt with Amazon reps many times over the years and have found them to be nothing short of phenomenal.  Most other companies, be they manufacturers or retailers, are simply not in the same league.  For Amazon to include direct access to their support staff is a major plus in the Kindle Fire’s already sizable arsenal.  What it means is that as long as you have a connection, you never have to worry about being lost in your device. Help is always one tap of the screen away.

There’s only one downside to the HDX 7”.  If you’re not already an Amazon Prime member or otherwise heavily invested in their ecosystem, the HDX might be of less use to you.  The two really are joined at the hip.  However, if you are a Prime member (like me), the two together make for an awesome buy.  It’s hard to go wrong with such a powerful device at such an appealing price.

The Good:
- Great battery life
- Excellent price
- Awesome screen
- Powerful internals mean that very little will slow you down
- Help is available whenever you need it
- A huge content ecosystem of movies, books, games, etc

The Less than good:
- Less intuitive than an iPad for the technology challenged
- Not nearly as useful if you’re not a heavy Amazon user
- All the buttons are located on the back, which can be a little clunky until you learn where they are

Alternatives:
iPad Mini:  A good device, but crippled by price or power depending on your choice.  The most recent mini, the one with the retina display, is over a hundred and fifty bucks more than the HDX.  It has a slightly larger screen and a lot more apps, which is nice, but unfortunately I don’t think it’s $150 nicer. Your other option is the older mini, but what you gain in price you lose in power. The original uses what is essentially outdated technology and it’s starting to show.

Google Nexus 7: Another awesome device and likewise at a great price.  You get access to all of Google Play, but I personally find the overall size of their content ecosystem to be inferior.  Still, if you’re not an Amazon fan and don’t want to be glued to them, the Nexus 7 is a good alternate choice.



So called full-sized tablets are usually larger than 8” in screen diameter. Here’s where I change my tune a bit, because I find at this size you can gain the added advantage of a device which is large enough to be comfortably productive on.  A tablet of this size can be used quite well for a full-suite of office applications, making them good choices for both personal and professional use. This is where the second device of this review, the iPad Air, shines.  At $499 for the basic model it’s not a small investment, but I personally feel you get a goodly amount for your dollar.

The iPad air offers a large screen in a small package. It’s thin and light, yet boasts both a powerful processor and all-day battery life. It also has access to Apple’s huge content ecosystem, which quite possibly trumps even Amazon’s.  Even if it doesn’t, the Apple App Store contains apps for everything you’d ever want to use at Amazon: shopping, Kindle books, Prime movies, etc.  In short you can get the best of both worlds on the iPad. As an added bonus, Apple also made some of their core productively apps free this year including: iLife and iWork. You get a full professional office suite, a movie maker, and a great music composition program all included in the price of the tablet.

The iPad Air runs IOS, which personally I feel is the easiest tablet operating system out there for a new user to learn.  Seriously, I’ve seen people give iPads to their toddlers and grandparents and have both surfing the web or playing games within minutes.  IOS also includes Facetime, which is probably the easiest to use video caller out there. It’s a great way to stay in touch with those relatives you stuffed back onto a plane right after the presents were unwrapped.

It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, though. Apple, alas, can be their own worst enemy.  While their customer service is often fast and courteous, they are sticklers for the rules.  While I've found that Amazon will often bend over backwards to make sure their customers are satisfied, Apple will do so only as long as you fall within their guidelines.   Do otherwise, and you’re looking at a potentially costly repair. This is not to say it’s unfair, but it’s still inferior to the experiences I think you'll find with Amazon support.

That being said, I still love the iPad air.  When I’m not parked in front of my desktop, it’s my go-to device for just about anything - including writing my next book.

The Good:
- Possibly the best screen available on a tablet
- Feels a lot smaller than it is
- Great battery life
- Powerful internals
- A huge ecosystem of apps, including Amazon’s
- Pairs nicely if you also have an iPhone
- Can be a legitimate laptop replacement for some

The Less Than Good:
- Pricey
- The warranty is written in stone. Thou shalt not break it and expect to be forgiven.

Alternatives:
Kindle Fire HDX 8.9”:  All the same plusses as the Kindle HDX 7”, including the great price, but with a bigger screen.  Regardless, I don’t favor it at this size because, same as with the 7”, Amazon seems to embrace the HDX as primarily a consumption device. In that regards it’s somewhat more limited than the iPad.  Sometimes I actually want to get some work done, and if that’s the case then the HDX is probably not my first choice.

Samsung Galaxy Tablet 10”: Samsung is a popular player in the tablet space, but I’ll be honest I have yet to see a large tablet from them I like. They lack Apple’s or Amazon’s content ecosystem, I find their build quality to be a bit questionable, and frankly I despise Samsung’s customer support.  Just my opinion, but I find their attitude to be “just buy a new device.”  Their aftermarket support isn’t at the top of my favorites list.

Microsoft Surface: Maybe in a couple of years these could be great devices, but not yet.  While I love their typing covers, the tablets themselves are a bit chunky for my tastes.  THey also doesn’t have the app ecosystem of the others yet.  This year’s Surface tablets fixed a lot of the issues with the original generation, but it still seems you’re paying a premium just for the Microsoft name.  If the Surface was $100 cheaper or included their awesome covers (currently a separate purchase) I might think different, but for now I don’t have any reason to recommend one over an iPad air.

There you have it, two devices that you really can't go wrong with.

So what are your thoughts?  I’d love to hear them as well as answer any questions I can.

Dec 16, 2013

Here Be Pirates, Matey!

I'm honored to be guest blogging today about the problem of ebook piracy - or lack thereof - over at the GENXPOSE blog.

Feel free to pop on by and let us know what you think.

Hopefully it's an insightful debate for both authors and readers alike.

Click Here to check it out.

Dec 11, 2013

The Tome of Bill Compendium (volume 1) is released

I am pleased to announce the release of The Tome of Bill Compendium (vol 1). This box set includes the first four novels in my horror/comedy series, offering over 1200 pages of adult-themed horror comedy at a discounted price - just in time for the holidays (purely coincidental, I assure you :).

There are reasons people fear the dark. Bill Ryder isn’t one of them.

Gamer, Geek, and Legendary Vampire - The Tome of Bill is the tale of an unlikely hero who finds himself dragged kicking and screaming into the world of the undead. Despite awesome supernatural powers, loyal allies, and an attitude the size of Brooklyn; the odds are still stacked heavily against him. Bill must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient horrors that threaten it - all while trying to work up the nerve to finally ask out the girl of his dreams.

The Compendium edition (vol 1) contains the first four novels of this best-selling series, over 1000 pages of foul-mouthed horror hilarity in one collection. Big box set savings for even bigger laughs.

BILL THE VAMPIRE
Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb, then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Sadly, fangs or not, he was still at the bottom of the food chain. Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

SCARY DEAD THINGS
One of the most powerful vampires on the planet has given Bill a death sentence. Meanwhile, an immortal princess wants him for an entirely different purpose, one which makes his first issue seem almost preferable. All the while, new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing his luck, do you even have to ask?

THE MOURNING WOODS
A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can't be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity's darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it's not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.

HOLIER THAN THOU
On the eve of war, The Icon - ancient foe of the vampire race - has arisen. Panic is about to break out within the undead ranks and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it. Destiny has placed them on a cataclysmic collision course, but there's just one small catch: he's in love with her. Now he finds himself in a race against supernatural assassins to save the person who's fated to destroy him. Talk about being damned if you do.

Also includes bonus Tome of Bill short stories and character interviews

Join Bill in these full-length tales of monsters and bloody mayhem that don't pull any punches when it comes to action, gore, or snarky banter.



The Tome of Bill Compendium (vol 1) is over 360K words of undead insanity by Rick Gualtieri.
Release Date December 2013 – Freewill Press LLC.
Available for $9.99 in all major ebook formats.

Currently available for
Kindle
Nook.
Kobo
Google Play
Smashwords
iBooks

Oct 15, 2013

Sunset Strip: A Tale From The Tome Of Bill is now available!

I am happy to announce that Sunset Strip (A Tale From The Tome of Bill) has been released!

That means that you can now win a chance to
Get Killed With Bill.

Double Woo!



My name is Sally.

For over thirty years I've prowled the night, one of the undead. In that time I've walked amongst you - a wolf in sheep's clothing - doing unspeakable things, killing countless people.

Now, on the eve of Armageddon, a chance for redemption presents itself. My past has come looking for me, beckoning me back to the city of my rebirth.

Those who killed me the first time are intent on finishing the job. I'm outnumbered and outgunned, but they've got another thing coming if they think I'm outclassed.

Unspeakable horrors, both old and new, await me in the City of Sin, but in the end they're all going to learn one very painful lesson:

PAYBACK IS A BITCH



Sunset Strip (A Tale From The Tome Of Bill) is 60k words of paranormal fantasy with attitude by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill The Vampire and Holier Than Thou.

Available now for:
Kindle
Nook
Kobo

Coming soon to iTunes, Smashwords, Paperback and Audio Book.

Oct 1, 2013

It's your big chance to...Get Killed With Bill

Announcing The Get Killed With Bill Sweepstakes!

Halloween season is looming, Sunset Strip is almost ready for release, and I need some help letting the world know about it.  However, I've never been entirely comfortable with just asking people to do things for me without offering something in return. Thus, I am pleased to announce the 2013 Get Killed with Bill Sweepstakes.

Why? Because I want to do horrible, terrible things to you!…

...figuratively of course.

You could win a brief cameo in the upcoming Tome of Bill book 5, Goddamned Freaky Monsters - brief being the operative word.  Why?  Because your tenure in Bill’s universe will be short, but spectacularly bloody.  You’ll get to meet the star of the series, Bill Ryder, then meet a fittingly gruesome fate. How will you kick the bucket?  Will you be disemboweled or dismembered?  Will you implode or explode?  Will your face become intimately acquainted with an industrial blender set to frappe?  Who knows?  All I can say is that your end will be one to remember.

But that’s not all:

1 Grand Prize winner will:
  • Appear as a character in Goddamned Freaky Monsters, in which "you" will get to meet both the star of the series and your maker.
  • Be offered a role as a beta reader for the book so as to get an advance view of the story as well as provide feedback on your own personal ending
  • Receive a free copy of the ebook upon release
  • Receive autographed copies of all the Tome of Bill paperbacks to date, including Goddamned Freaky Monsters upon its release
2 First Prize winners will:
  • Receive an autographed copy of the Goddamned Freaky Monsters paperback upon its release
4 Second Prize winners will:
  • Receive an autographed copy of Bill The Vampire, the first in the Tome of Bill series
The winners will be chosen by random dice roll.

How to Enter:

Entry into the contest is simple: Help me promote the launch of Sunset Strip: a Tale From the Tome of Bill once it is released and then let me know about it via email, or direct message on Facebook or Twitter.

How can you help spread the word?  That’s entirely up to you.

Some examples:
  • Sharing the news on Facebook, Twitter, or with your email buddies
  • Dressing up as a Tome of Bill character for a convention like ComiCon (despite that most people will have no idea who you are)
  • Tattooing “BUY BILL THE VAMPIRE” across your torso and then streaking naked onto the field during the next Giants game.*
You get the idea.

*Note: please don’t actually do that last one or anything else that would get me arrested as an accomplice.



FAQ

Q) When does the contest start and end?
A) The contest is open now. It will run through Nov 15th, 2013.  

Q) That name of the contest...that's not a spoiler for book 5 is it?
A) Nice try, Columbo. No.  I was just looking for a cute contest name and liked how it sounded. It has no bearing on the plot of book 5.

Q) So if I win, I get a piece of the pie, right? I mean, that's me in your book isn't it?  Don't I deserve proper recompense?
A) No, what will appear in the book will be a character, not the real you. I will retain full copyright of your name and likeness as it pertains to appearing within the Tome of Bill series. This is just a fun cameo, not a get rich quick scheme. Go sell Amway products if that's what you're looking for.

Q) I'm pretty fond of my own ass, but what do you say about me bumping off my inlaws / stupid cousin / dipshit neighbors instead?
A) Save that stuff for your therapist. I'm not your personal literary hitman.  You can only enter yourself and you must be 18 or over to commit to your ultimate Bill-related fate.

Q) What if I win then decide it's a bad omen to let you skin my avatar alive and let it be devoured by mutant cockroaches?
A) If I any point prior to publication you decide to call it quits, I will respect that.  It's easy enough to change a name....although we'll both know the truth, wuss.

Q) What if the method you choose to off "me" is totally and utterly fucked up to the point where I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life? 
A) This is supposed to be a fun contest, not a way for me to traumatize my readers. That's why you get to be a beta reader.  If you feel what I'm doing is in bad taste (well okay, really bad taste) let's discuss. The point of this is for you to have something neat to show to your friends, not totally creep you out. I'm willing to be flexible for those who have been cool enough to support me.

Q) Can I enter more than once?
A) Yes. I'm all for a little extra promotion. Thus each different way you can help me spread the word will count toward another chance to win (note: sharing on places like Facebook and Twitter will still only count as one entry....just to keep people from abusing the system by creating sockpuppet accounts or anything like that).

Q) Are there any limits?
A) Of course.  Doing anything illegal, morally reprehensible, or downright stupid will get you disqualified. I don't want anyone appearing on the 6 o'clock news because of this. Creation of fake accounts, reviews, or anything else of the sort will likewise be an automatic DQ.  When in doubt, ask.






And now for the cover my ass legalese...


Sweepstakes Official Rules
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN
Purchase does not increase chance of winning.

The prizes:
1 Grand Prize winner will:
  • Appear briefly as a character in the novel Goddamned Freaky Monsters (the Tome of Bill, part 5) **.
  • Become a beta reader for the book so as to get an advance view of the story as well as provide feedback on your own personal ending
  • Receive a free e-copy of the book upon release
  • Receive autographed copies of the paperbacks of: Bill The Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, Holier Than Thou, Sunset Strip, and Goddamned Freaky Monsters
2 First Prize winners will:
  • Receive an autographed copy of the paperback novel of Goddamned Freaky Monsters (the Tome of Bill, part 5) upon its release
4 Second Prize winners will:
  • Receive an autographed paperback copy of Bill The Vampire (the Tome of Bill, part1)
No cash or other prize substitution permitted except at Sponsor's discretion. The prize is nontransferable. Any and all prize related expenses, including without limitation any and all federal, state, and/or local taxes shall be the sole responsibility of the winner.

How to enter: You may enter the Sweepstakes through the following means:
Email
Direct Message via:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RickGualtieri
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RickGualtieriAuthor

Alternate means of entry: Mail a 4" x 6" card with the following information:
  • Your full name 
  • Your complete address 
  • Valid email address (if you do not have an email address, print "no email address") 
  • How you helped promote Sunset Strip
  • The words “I WANT TO BE KILLED WITH BILL SWEEPSTAKES”
Mail entry to:
Freewill Press LLC
PO Box 175
Dunellen, NJ 08812

Only one entry card will be accepted per person. All entries become the exclusive property of Sponsor and will not be acknowledged or returned.  You must enter your own name for the Grand Prize. No substitutes, including but not limited to: family, friends, spouse, or children, will be allowed.

Terms and Conditions 

1) By submitting an entry, you fully and unconditionally agree to and accept these Official Rules. 

2) Sweepstakes entries are limited to the United States and District of Columbia and is void where prohibited. All federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Subject to any governmental approval that may be required, Sponsor reserves the right to, without prior notice and at any time, terminate the Sweepstakes, in whole or in part, or modify Sweepstakes in any way, should any factor interfere with its proper conduct as contemplated by these Official Rules. Sweepstakes will begin on the announced release date of Sunset Strip and will continue until Nov 15 2013. Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion, to cancel the sweepstakes in its entirety, or only the online portion, if it becomes technically corrupted or because of non-authorized human intervention.

3) Eligibility. Must be at least 18 years old to enter. Employees, officers, characters, or directors of Sponsor, its parent companies, affiliates, subsidiaries, and their children, parents, spouse, and members of their household are ineligible to participate. No purchase or online entry necessary. Sweepstakes is open only to legal residents of the United States. A purchase does not enhance your chance of winning.

4) Effective date of entries. Entries made online will be effective on the day received. Entries submitted by mail will be effective on the date Sponsor receives and processes the entry. All entries become the exclusive property of Freewill Press LLC and will not be acknowledged or returned. You are responsible for your costs of entering, including online access charges, long distance telephone charges, and postage.

5) Selection of winners. Winners will be determined by random drawing from all eligible entries received. Drawings will be held as soon as is commercially reasonable. Winners must agree to the use of their names, voices, and/or likeness for the purpose of advertising, trade, or promotion without further compensation, unless prohibited by law.

Notification of winners. Sweepstakes winner will be notified by email or direct message.  A message will be sent to the winner within one week after the monthly drawing. All decisions are final and binding. Should the email be returned to the Sponsor as invalid, two more attempts will be made via email and one by regular mail if applicable. Winners must contact the Sponsor within 5 calendar days from the date the notification is sent by Sponsor to claim their prize. Failure to contact Sponsor within that 5 day period will result in immediate disqualification of the selected entrant and a new winner will be selected. No exceptions will be made to this rule. Sponsor is not responsible for and shall not be liable for late, lost, misdirected, or unsuccessful efforts to notify winners.

6) Odds of winning. The odds of winning any drawing will be determined by the number of eligible entries received.

7) In the event of a dispute regarding who submitted an online entry, the entry will be deemed submitted by the authorized account holder of the email account.

8) Other conditions. Sponsor, its agents and representatives, its parent companies, affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising, promotion and fulfillment agencies and legal advisors are not responsible for and will not be liable for (I) late, lost, damaged, misdirected, incomplete, unintelligible or postage due entries; (II) telephone, electronic, hardware or software program, network, Internet or computer malfunctions, failures or difficulties of any kind; (III) failed, incomplete, garbled or delayed computer transmissions; (IV) any condition caused by events beyond the control of Sponsor that may cause Sweepstakes to be disrupted or corrupted; (V) any injuries losses or damages of any kind arising in connection with or as a result of the Sweepstakes, or from participation in the Sweepstakes; or (VI) any printing or typographical error in any material associated with the Sweepstakes.  

Freewill Press LLC will retain sole copyright to the grand prize winner’s name and likeness as they appear in the Tome of Bill series of books, ebooks, and audiobooks. Grand Prize Winner must agree to the use of their names, voices, and/or likeness for the purpose of advertising, trade, or promotion without further compensation, unless prohibited by law.

9) Indemnification. You agree to release and hold Sponsor, its employees, officers, directors, shareholders, agents, representatives, parent companies, affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising, promotion and fulfillment agencies, and legal advisors, harmless from any and all losses, damages, rights, claims and actions of any kind in connection with the Sweepstakes, including without limitation, personal injury, death and property damage, and claims based on publicity rights, defamation or invasion of privacy. This sweepstakes is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Facebook. You understand that you are providing your information to Freewill Press LLC and the sweepstakes sponsor, not to Facebook.

10) Choice of law. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of you and Sponsor in connection with the Sweepstakes, will be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the substantive laws of the state of New Jersey.



Sep 21, 2013

Panic at the Disco...err Goodreads, that is

It was quite the interesting evening last night.  I took the night off from the internet to introduce my gaming group to my new D&D character (after the fuckers executed my old one last week due to a little misunderstanding about supporting evil cultists...yeah, payback's gonna be a bitch! :).  Elsewhere, people flipped the frig out over at Goodreads due to some policy changes, which you can read about here.

In a nutshell, Goodreads has decided to take a stance that book reviews and shelves should be about books and not author behavior. Anything they determine to not fit these guidelines can be deleted. Some are seeing this as censorship by a company that's bending over due to either a fear of lawsuits or the dictates of their new corporate masters.  Others are dancing in the streets because they feel that their critics have now been silenced and thus manna will now magically rain from the heavens in the form of book sales.

The truth, though, is nothing has really changed. For those concerned about free speech, I would offer that there won't be much difference in that regards. Goodreads has always had policies and they have always enforced them when they see fit.  There has been no gagging of free speech because it's never been about that. Its their site and their rules - much like thousands of other forums across the internet. Cross those lines and you'll see just how free your speech there isn't, and that goes for anyone.

My advice to this group is relax. Here, take a look at this picture of my cat and breathe deeply.  I think you'll see that in the end there isn't all that much to worry about.

You won't be forced to like a book that sucks nor like an author who's a dickhead. Likewise, I don't see anything that says you can't call out an author for being a dickhead in any of their forums, or make mention of the author in your review as long as the focus is the book itself.  I can understand this. While I as a reader might be interested in learning that a writer is a jerk, if I click on a review for a book I'm expecting to see at least something about the book itself. My interpretation of the new rules, however, is that you are still free to mention the author and/or their behavior as long as that focus on the book is there.

To that other group I mentioned above, the ones who now see themselves free to be as big of assholes as they can because they wrongly assume the rules now state they can't be called out on it, all I'll say is don't make me laugh.

Some words of advice for authors, new and established.  There is no golden ticket. Succeeding in this industry is difficult even if your attitude and talent are all in the right place. If they're not, though, you've pretty much bought yourself a ticket to failureville.

If your books suck, no amount of spin, PR, threatening, or cajoling will change that.  Put a bow on garbage and it's still garbage. Also, and here's the kicker, nothing has changed with regards to telling to the world about it. You can still be one-starred and shelved for writing a piece of shit...and I, or anyone else, can still call it exactly that. That hasn't changed. You still need to focus on quality. Ignore that at your own peril.

So fine, maybe your book is okay...good even, but perhaps your attitude isn't. You enjoy berating people who leave less than five star reviews on your book, telling them how stupid they are for not understanding your genius.  Maybe you love calling people out as ingrates for not leaving any reviews. Heck, maybe you even get a kick out of trying to sue people if they don't say the right things about you.

"Congratulations to me!" you say. "Goodreads has given me free rein to be the dick I was always meant to be!"

Hold on there, Hoss. See, there's nothing of the sort. Goodreads is simply telling people that if you're going to review a book, then make it about the book. Likewise if you're going to create a shelf for that book. There's nothing that says I can't call you out as part of this or in one of their many forums. There is likewise nothing that's going to stop them from banning your ass if you decide to act like one.

But here's the real fun part. Even if, say, they did - you still lose. Say tomorrow they adopted a policy of "Nothing mean said about authors any more, ever again!" I still have my blog. I have Facebook. I have Twitter, pinterest, email and a metric shit-ton of other forums in which to tell my friends what an asshole you were to me.  Hell, I could even write an article for Salon or the Huffington Post about the whole sordid affair if I so choose.  So can anyone else and this isn't going away any time soon.

If you're unprofessional, eventually people will learn about it and it WILL (rightfully) hurt your sales. No minor rule update is going to change that.

In the end Goodreads is an awesome place for readers and authors alike.  Go there to discuss books you enjoy, topics you love, and other fun stuff and you'll be fine. Go there to spam, harass, or just be an overall jerk and I think you'll discover that it's business as usual with regards to the reception you'll receive.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to plotting horrific revenge against my fellow adventurers...


Sep 12, 2013

Sunset Strip: a Tale from the Tome of Bill. Teaser 1 and Cover.

I am pleased to present the cover, blurb, and first teaser for
Sunset Strip: a tale from The Tome of Bill.

Coming soon!


My name is Sally.

For over thirty years I’ve prowled the night, one of the undead. In that time I’ve walked amongst you - a wolf in sheep’s clothing - doing unspeakable things, killing countless people.

Now, on the eve of Armageddon, a chance for redemption presents itself. My past has come looking for me, beckoning me back to the scene of my rebirth - the City of Sin.

Those who killed me are intent on finishing the job. I’m outnumbered and outgunned, but they’ve got another thing coming if they think I’m outclassed.
 

In the end they’re all going to learn a very painful lesson: payback is a bitch.



“So how do vampires play into this?”

“I’m getting to that,” Christy said in between sips of a decaf cappuccino. Ugh, the very thought made me gag. Talk about a sin against mankind. “Two weeks ago, Tom and I went down to visit with his folks. His sister mostly kept to herself, but I happened to see her new boyfriend once when he picked her up. Something about him set off warning signals.”

“Something familiar?”

“Sorta.” She broke eye contact. Before Bill’s doofy charisma had won her over, she’d been firmly in the kill all vampires camp. “I didn’t trust myself, though. Things are better than they were when I first found out I was pregnant, but my powers have still been going a little haywire every now and then. I’ve been self-binding myself just in case. It tends to mute everything.”

“Self-binding? If we’re gonna start talking kinks here, then I’m gonna need something stronger. Don’t get me wrong, I like being tied up as much as...”

“No! My powers. I’ve been using a ritual to keep them in check.”

“Oh, well that’s a bit less weird...sorta.”

“Anyway, as I said, everything’s been muffled for me. All I got was a little feeling, like the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. The thing is, it kept nagging at me. So when I got back home, I decided to undo the binding and cast a scrying spell.”

“In other words, you spied on them?”

“More or less.”

“We’re back to kinky again.”

She ignored me. “I didn’t get much at first.”

“I take it you kept at it for a while?” I asked, bemused.

“Well yeah, she’s Tom’s sister. I mean, Kara’s probably going to be my sister in law.”

“Really?”

“Well maybe...someday,” she replied, blushing. It was cute in a deer in the headlights sort of way. “Anyway, the guy must’ve been real careful because I didn’t see anything that would have set me off.”

“Until…”

“I was scrying again two nights ago and caught Kara and her mother in the middle of a massive blowout. I really just caught bits and pieces, but it was mostly about his age.”

“College boy?”

“He’s definitely a bit older than her.”

“She wouldn’t be the first girl to fall for a guy a few years her senior.”

“I know. I have no idea what she sees in him, though. From the glimpse afforded me, he’s nothing special. If anything, she’s out of his league.”

“Stupid and teenage girl tend to go hand in hand.”

Christy nodded knowingly. “Anyway, the boyfriend showed up and got into it, too. That’s when I caught it. It was only for the briefest of seconds, and I thought maybe I was just seeing stuff considering all the craziness we’ve been through the past couple of months…”

“He snacked on the mom?”

“Nothing that obvious. But his eyes turned black for just a moment. Too fast for either of them to notice, but I did.”

“So what did you do?”

“I jumped in my car and drove down there.”

“Wait, why didn’t you just teleport? I’ve seen you do it before.”

“Like I said, I’ve been binding myself lately. It takes a while to fully shake off. I wasn’t quite up to snuff to travel that way. I could’ve made it but would have been too tired to do much else if trouble started.”

“Okay, fine. I don’t need the details. So you and Tom…”

“Just me. He can get a little over-protective about his sister and, well, if things got ugly, I didn’t want him getting hurt.”

“Or fucking things up?”

She stared me in the eye a moment before averting her gaze again. “Maybe a little of that.”

Hah! Good to see she wasn’t completely blinded by love. “And?”

“And I was too late. His sister was already gone, run off with that...”

“Filthy beast of the night?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Sorry.”

I put my cup down. “Did you ever consider that maybe he’s legit? Vampires aren’t all bloodsucking monsters. I mean, there’s Bill and…” I racked my brain thinking of another good example. Oh fuck it. “…and Bill. But I’m sure there are others like him. I mean, for all you know, they might really have something.”

“Don’t you think I considered that?” Christy asked, her tone clear she felt slightly insulted. “I know that in many ways you’re just as human as I am.”

I was tempted to correct her in that I wouldn’t fall for a dorkus like she had, but I stopped myself short. That wasn’t entirely true. Still, that was the ancient past, another life. I pushed aside the memory, avoiding that particularly gruesome memory lane.

Even so, it bugged me a bit. There was something disturbingly familiar with Kara’s story. I’m sure it’s that way with a lot of girls who wind up seduced by our kind. Here in the city, we tend to forgo the lovely dovey shit and just lure our victims into a dark alley. Of course, half the time they’re hopped up on one drug or another. But not every place was like here, was it? In other parts of the country they tended to move a bit slower. It still seemed like a lot of work for a meal, though.

“So what about the situation convinced you otherwise?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“While I was down there, I did some asking around about this guy.”

“Just asking?”

“I may have befuddled a few minds in the process.”

“When you've got it, flaunt it.” She smirked. Maybe we weren’t so different after all.

“Something like that. Anyway, it wasn’t too hard to find out that he was from out of town…way out of town.”

“How far?”

“Vegas.”

“Really?” My curiosity piqued again. “Been a while since I’ve been out there.”

“But you know people, right?”

“Well, yeah.” I rolled my eyes. Hell, I had an in with one of the Draculas, our ruling council. One didn’t get much more in-the-know than that.

“Good, because that’s why I’m here. I’m heading out there and I need information.”

“You’re flying to Las Vegas?” She nodded. “That might not be too smart. What if you…”

“I won’t. That’s why I want your help. If you can find out how many there are and how old the coven master is, that’ll give me enough to at least not go in completely blind.”

“Whoa there!” I put my hands up. “Even assuming I wanted to rat out a den of vamps to you, they’re probably just passing through. It’s a popular tourist spot, even with my kind. They could be...”

“They’re not. In fact, I know where they are.”

“Scrying again?”

“Partly. But I really didn’t need to. I broke into the apartment where this guy had been staying and found a couple packs of these.”

She pulled a book of matches from her pocket book and tossed it on the table in front of me. I glanced down casually at it and my eyes widened in surprise.

No fucking way.

I blinked and looked again, hoping maybe my eyes had been playing tricks. There was no mistake. The words were as plain as the fangs in my mouth: Pandora’s Box.

My breath caught in my throat as the name sank in. Memories, long since repressed, resurfaced. It was like someone had kicked in a locked door inside of my mind.

Why that place?