Nov 30, 2015

Dec 11th is going to be a Wickedly Good Day!

I am pleased to announce that...

THE WICKED DEAD (The Tome of Bill 7) will be released on Friday, December 11th, on all the major ebook outlets.

Paperback and Audiobook versions will follow shortly after.

There are reasons we fear the night. Now he must become one of them.

Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. It's time for the gamer, geek, and legendary vampire to embrace his fate. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he's destined to face. It's his only chance of stopping Armageddon.

As his enemies stand in his way and his allies falter, the vicious beast inside of him wants out. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything Bill knows and loves.

Why can't the end of the world ever be easy?

The Wicked Dead is the seventh book in the Tome of Bill saga, a series of foul-mouthed horror comedies with a nasty overbite. If you like bloody fight scenes, geeky in-jokes, and breakneck-paced action, then you're gonna love the penultimate chapter in The Tome of Bill series.

Until then, here's another small taste of things to come...

Christy convened a closed session upstairs with her sisters to bring them up to speed on our findings from the Jahabich lair. With the Templar keeping guard outside and the Defilers off ... well, supposedly defiling barnyard animals, it seemed like the perfect time for the mages to do so without interruption and with minimal people overhearing.

Mind you, minimal didn’t mean nobody.

With the magical freakiness over for now, my roommates and I moved the furniture back into the living room so as to relax a bit. The large living space just so happened to be conveniently located right beneath where Christy and her coven were talking, allowing me to pick up everything being said above a whisper while pretending to engage my friends in some idle chitchat regarding who would win in a fight: a platoon of Sith warriors or the X-men.

Sheila joined us soon after, having gone to check in with Sister Bernadette, who’d set up a Templar command center in – where else – the kitchen.

“How’s it going with the holy rollers?” I asked, having just crushed Tom’s argument by pointing out that Jean Grey and the Phoenix Force could fuck up Emperor Palpatine six ways to Sunday.

“Not bad. They’re a bit on edge, but putting them on guard duty is helping to distract them from the distaste most of them are still feeling.”

“Teaming up with me?”

“It’s not just you, but yeah.”

“Maybe we should pass the collection plate around,” Ed suggested. “That always seemed to work when I went to Sunday mass as a kid.”

“I draw the line at confession,” Tom joked.

“Believe me, nobody wants to hear that,” I said idly, focusing on the conversation at hand since all Christy seemed to be doing upstairs at the moment was passing around the photos I’d taken of the Jahabich-be-good spell. “Although I’m sure Sally would have some snide comment. Speaking of which, where is she?”

“Still outside, I think,” Sheila said. “She drove Bernadette and me up. When we got here, she said she wanted to take a walk, scope out our perimeter.”

“I bet that was a fun ride.”

“It was ... uncomfortably quiet.”

“Sally? Quiet?” I asked. “I can see Sister Dumpling not wanting to lower herself to speaking to garbage such as us, but I’m having a hard time picturing Sally not getting in every dig she could.”

“Yeah,” Ed agreed. “She’s never been shy about her opinions.”

We shared a glance, which I broke off quickly. He and I still had one hell of an uncomfortable discussion ahead of us. I couldn’t pretend forever that he hadn’t noticed my feelings for Sally had changed ever so slightly. As one of the few folks in this world I considered a true friend, I’d need to come clean at some point, albeit that could certainly wait until after we discovered whether we’d live or die in Boston. Death was potentially the best plausible deniability excuse of them all.

Thankfully, the awkward moment was shattered just then as Blasphemy! psychically reverberated throughout the house.

I refocused my attention back upstairs. Yep, Christy had gotten to the White Mother and what a bitch she really was. Things were finally getting interesting.

“What are they talking about?” Sheila asked.


“You’re eavesdropping, aren’t you?”


“Every few seconds, your eyes lose focus. Also, you tilt your head so your right ear is facing upward.”

“I do?”

“He does?” Tom echoed.

“Yes. Don’t you guys ever play poker? Bill’s tells are obvious from across the room.”

“Yep,” Ed replied. “Hence why I always win.”

I pointed at him. “You said it was just luck.”

“I lied.”


“Don’t change the subject,” Sheila chided. “Are you listening or not?” My silence was apparently a confession of guilt because she added, “So spill.”

“Dude, are you listening in on my girlfriend?” Tom asked.

“Fine. Yes, I’m listening.”

“Have you ever done that before?”

“On occasion,” I admitted.

“Like what about when we’re doing it in my room?”

“Oh, fuck no!” I lied. Truth was, it was kinda hard to tune out. Tom liked to pant “oh yeah, baby” over and over again like he was in a bad seventies porno. Try sleeping through that shit.

“And no,” I said, turning to Sheila, “I don’t listen to you guys either when you’re downstairs in the shower.”

She blinked a few times, her expression blank. “I didn’t ask.”

“Yeah ... well ... in case you were wondering.”

The Wicked Dead - coming December 11th, 2015.


Chevelle.chris said...

Can. Not. Wait.

Want NAO.

contrarybwana said...

Best news I ever received on Pearl Harbor Day. Wait, is it too soon?