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Oct 4, 2012

October...the perfect month to be Necromantic

It's my pleasure to present to you the newest release by a stupendously awesome new author in the 18+ genre by the name of Cole Vance. The book's name is Necromantic and it's about...

Wait a second!  Stupendous?  Laying it on a little thick aren't you?  I've never even heard of this clown.

Now that's not very friendly.  He's a nice guy.  Besides which, you should trust me.  I'm a good judge at these things.

Uh huh.  This is actually you writing under a psuedonym isn't it?

What!?  How dare you insinuate such?

Yeah I thought so.

Now wait just a minute.  I'll have you know, this book is in a genre I don't write in.  Not that there's anything wrong with adult-fare, mind you. It's just not my cup of tea.

Yep, hence why you're using a different name.

Stop saying that!  That isn't me.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Screw you!  I'm just trying to help a fellow author out.

Admit it.  You're a smut writer now.

Hardly.  I'll have you know, I write good fun family fare.

You mean that book about a dorky vampire named Bill who says "fuck" a lot?

Well maybe I'm stretching a bit with that family thing.  Still, have you heard the language that some kids use today?

Don't try changing the subject, smut-boy.

Grrr...getting back to my point,  Necromantic is a darkly comedic paranormal erotica not written by me (seriously!).  Here's a little of what it's about....


Lydia Strom has an incredible sex life with her husband, Harold. There are no pleasures too intense, no kinks off limits, no boundaries that can’t be crossed. There’s just one small problem: Lydia has been dead for three years.

Somehow Harold has found a way to bring her soul back. Each time Lydia awakens, she’s in a different body. She gets to experience her husband’s touch through the senses of multiple different women, allowing her to enjoy him in ways she never thought possible.

But not everything is as it seems. Her husband has been keeping secrets from her...secrets that will turn her whole world upside down. Now Lydia must decide between the Earthly pleasures he offers and the comeuppance he deserves.


18+ audiences only for explicit/graphic sex...which I totally don't write.

You really don't get how this whole psuedonym thing works, do you? Kind of sad really.

Oh bite me!  Necromantic is available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Kobo. Check it out.  I for one see a bright future for the studly young author behind it.

Studly!?  That's it, I'm outta here.

8 comments:

fuonlyknew said...

Laughed out loud the whole way through!
Have got to get this book soon!

Loved your post, whoever you say you are!

Janie Junebug said...

Cole Vance is a very sexy name. Is that your porn star name? I look forward to reading a little smut about a dead person.

Love,
Janie

Rick Gualtieri said...

Hah, thanks!

Rick Gualtieri said...

My porn star name is far less sexy. :)

Jessica Córdova said...

Hey! I promised to buy your erotica if you marketed it by saying it couldn't possibly be worse than 50 Shades of Gray. I made no promises about "other people's" erotica that you're promoting. ;-)

Rick Gualtieri said...

Damn that fine print! :)

Kellmz said...

Next paycheck, Mr. "Vance"...I have to receive My"Bill" books first..lol

Rick Gualtieri said...

Hah! I'm sure Mr Vance will be more than understanding. :)